[ imagine if we made the mods deal with a gy wide pc that's really just repeatedly zapping fei du with poison so he can chill until trial. terrible. also funny. but mostly terrible.
but since fei du is.... well seemingly, incapacitated right now, shizun will frown mightily at the door and just try the dingdang handle before doing something silly like kicking it down.
and if that doesn't work (or maybe, while it's working): are you performing necromancy in there because I will have to forbid that.
actually open? wow. is fei du the kind of person to leave a door unlocked? no but i want to have threads!
anyway the sight inside really isn't better. shen qingqiu manages to nudge the door open, and there's fei du. he's standing, in the middle of the room - he has his shirt torn open, a few buttons from the expensive material scattered on the floor, and he has his hand on his chest, electricity sparking madly off of his fingertips, but nothing's happening.
he doesn't even notice shen qingqiu come in. he's breathing really, really hard - ragged, panicked, painful noises, and his gaze is a thousand yards away. the sparks jump off his hands, again, and there's another string of staticky, garbled thoughts that go you raise me up so i can stand on mountains you raise i am more wenzhou wenzhou no no no no it can't no ]
[ sqq's aware enough that touching him is probably like, the worst possible decision he can make right now but. however, he also needs him to not be spiraling into the abyss? help he's completely out of his fantasy nonsense depths. his hands flutter for a minute before he grits his teeth and.... yolo (lie) it is! ]
[ it sure is! in case shen qingqiu wasn't aware fei du's brain is the danger zone. really, it should makes shades of their adventure together make more sense. the self sacrificial behavior. the way he threw himself in the line of fire. the fact he did anything to save luo wenzhou's life, at the cost of his own. and now -
and now everything he did, here, was pointless.
he's not really responding, still - the sharper call of his name gets nothing, because he is absolutely not on this plane of existence right now? his hand's flat on his chest and sparks jitter off of his knuckles, but it doesn't do anything and he just - just -
[ oooh he's in trouble now. fei du is fully lost in the trauma sauce and quite honestly he doesn't really have anything helpful on him to like, knock him out of it.
so, only strategy number three! fei du he's gonna slap you out of it...! but like, he rolled a three so rip him i guess.
(he will, at least note that at some point next week, to lwz for better tips) ]
[ this three is killing me. i hope he just like tenderly touched his face
because frankly the weirdness of that might get a reaction. he sucks in a breath like he's suddenly coming back to this planet, but it's not quite there. now that shen qingqiu is close enough, he can see that fei du is trembling, shaking so hard his teeth are rattling in his mouth, and he seems to realize, finally, that someone else is in the room.
the bad brain static thoughts do not stop, and he manages a short, sharp - ] What?
[ this is somewhere between startling and caring, and it summons up another thought, a crayonlike memory of luo wenzhou, grabbing onto fei du and holding him tight in a similar situation, and the gentle touch makes him --
he hiccups. the noise is tiny, and fragile, because fei du is fragile. for all of the terrifying fronts he can put up, for the joking, silly, playful gremlin he can be, in reality, this is what's hiding underneath. a terrified little boy who's lost everything, who has dug his claws into the last good things that he's loved only to watch them be ripped away.
someone who tried to do everything he could to protect that person, and failed.
he is violently, violently trembling, and he flinches back from the touch, but he takes a shuddering breath. ]
[ wild for all that sqq occasionally looks at fei du and goes `me if i had been more Like That` but right now, it's binghe that echoes. binghe, lost and terrified, binghe who has had every good thing ripped away from him, and left scrambling after the pieces that remain.
he at first places a hand back on fei du's arm just to test the waters and if he can, sqq ropes him into a hug. you know, those good ones where you're half being cuddled, half being squished in someones arms because they give a shit about you but like sqq, lack the words to actually say so. ]
[ the onion headline where it's like "the worst person in the world is right about something" but its like "the worst person ever has giant baby emotions actually"
fei du just goes. he's easily pliable at the moment, like a marionette, limbs all wrong, body all wrong, almost stumbling when he's pulled. and it's funny, that shen qingqiu might make a comparison to luo binghe, because it happens here, too. he doesn't know what to do with himself, with affection - it becomes almost immediately obvious, under all of that grief and despair, that he's stunned by this reaction. that fei du has hardly if ever known a tender, kinder touch in his life. luo wenzhou was the only exception.
he takes a breath, almost a wheeze. he's trembling and fragile like this, barely held together, and his rancid, bad, staticking thoughts are at least a little quieter, now. they're still there, the desperate repetition of a song lyric in a snatch here and there, the no echoing and hollow, and it eventually turns to, it wasn't supposed to be like this. ]
[ imagine this is only happening because sqq learned how emote his emotions like, two months ago just before murder. amazing how almost all of this is because binghe was a precious baby who made :plead: eyes at shizun and he shortcircuited so badly it reset the entire system (emotional).
that said, he pets fei du's back, hushing his stank thoughts and mentally humming a gentle tune. there, there.... it will be okay.......
this place takes and takes without mercy, doesn't it? ]
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but since fei du is.... well seemingly, incapacitated right now, shizun will frown mightily at the door and just try the dingdang handle before doing something silly like kicking it down.
and if that doesn't work (or maybe, while it's working): are you performing necromancy in there because I will have to forbid that.
no subject
actually open? wow. is fei du the kind of person to leave a door unlocked? no but i want to have threads!
anyway the sight inside really isn't better. shen qingqiu manages to nudge the door open, and there's fei du. he's standing, in the middle of the room - he has his shirt torn open, a few buttons from the expensive material scattered on the floor, and he has his hand on his chest, electricity sparking madly off of his fingertips, but nothing's happening.
he doesn't even notice shen qingqiu come in. he's breathing really, really hard - ragged, panicked, painful noises, and his gaze is a thousand yards away. the sparks jump off his hands, again, and there's another string of staticky, garbled thoughts that go you raise me up so i can stand on mountains you raise i am more wenzhou wenzhou no no no no it can't no ]
no subject
this is bad. ]
Fei Du.
[ sqq's aware enough that touching him is probably like, the worst possible decision he can make right now but. however, he also needs him to not be spiraling into the abyss? help he's completely out of his fantasy nonsense depths. his hands flutter for a minute before he grits his teeth and.... yolo (lie) it is! ]
This isn't going to help either you or him.
no subject
and now everything he did, here, was pointless.
he's not really responding, still - the sharper call of his name gets nothing, because he is absolutely not on this plane of existence right now? his hand's flat on his chest and sparks jitter off of his knuckles, but it doesn't do anything and he just - just -
youraisemeupsoicanstandonmountains ]
no subject
so, only strategy number three! fei du he's gonna slap you out of it...! but like, he rolled a three so rip him i guess.
(he will, at least note that at some point next week, to lwz for better tips) ]
no subject
because frankly the weirdness of that might get a reaction. he sucks in a breath like he's suddenly coming back to this planet, but it's not quite there. now that shen qingqiu is close enough, he can see that fei du is trembling, shaking so hard his teeth are rattling in his mouth, and he seems to realize, finally, that someone else is in the room.
the bad brain static thoughts do not stop, and he manages a short, sharp - ] What?
[ but it's lacking any of its usual heat. ]
no subject
but like, now that he's here, i guess fei du gets a gentle comforting stroke before sqq pappaps him again ]
You're scaring the neighbors.
[ it's said teasingly but the concern is real in his expression. ]
no subject
he hiccups. the noise is tiny, and fragile, because fei du is fragile. for all of the terrifying fronts he can put up, for the joking, silly, playful gremlin he can be, in reality, this is what's hiding underneath. a terrified little boy who's lost everything, who has dug his claws into the last good things that he's loved only to watch them be ripped away.
someone who tried to do everything he could to protect that person, and failed.
he is violently, violently trembling, and he flinches back from the touch, but he takes a shuddering breath. ]
- Sorry.
no subject
he at first places a hand back on fei du's arm just to test the waters and if he can, sqq ropes him into a hug. you know, those good ones where you're half being cuddled, half being squished in someones arms because they give a shit about you but like sqq, lack the words to actually say so. ]
Shut Up.
[ well. at least he's trying ]
no subject
fei du just goes. he's easily pliable at the moment, like a marionette, limbs all wrong, body all wrong, almost stumbling when he's pulled. and it's funny, that shen qingqiu might make a comparison to luo binghe, because it happens here, too. he doesn't know what to do with himself, with affection - it becomes almost immediately obvious, under all of that grief and despair, that he's stunned by this reaction. that fei du has hardly if ever known a tender, kinder touch in his life. luo wenzhou was the only exception.
he takes a breath, almost a wheeze. he's trembling and fragile like this, barely held together, and his rancid, bad, staticking thoughts are at least a little quieter, now. they're still there, the desperate repetition of a song lyric in a snatch here and there, the no echoing and hollow, and it eventually turns to, it wasn't supposed to be like this. ]
no subject
that said, he pets fei du's back, hushing his stank thoughts and mentally humming a gentle tune. there, there.... it will be okay.......
this place takes and takes without mercy, doesn't it? ]