[ binghe's left still holding onto shen qingqiu with his free arm as his sword clatters onto the ground. he stares at the wall behind him for a moment, stunned, breathing harshly, as he starts. ] ...Shizun?
[ there's blood. it's on binghe's hands, its on shizun's arm, and when he looks up at him like that, binghe's entire world shatters. he's no idiot, and can easily put two and two together; he did the most unforgivable thing he ever could have done. tears rush to binghe's eyes, so quickly that he can barely see straight, and all of the color drains from his face almost immediately. he cries out-- ] Shizun! [ as the panic starts to rise up hot and fresh in his chest. he has to do something, has to stop the bleeding has to help and his hand snaps out to try and grab for the wound, but binghe stops himself mid air. his mind reels with the horrifying thought of what if I do it again?
(you will do it again, something answers in the back of his mind. you knew you would hurt him eventually.
binghe stumbles, freezing, hand hovering, not sure what to do. there's blood, there's too much blood and he caused it, he did it, he finally hurt shizun, shizun, shizun, and overwhelmed, he finally starts to sob. - ] I'm sorry, I didn't--what did I -- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, why didn't you let me hurt me instead, why did you -- shizun-- [ fat tears fall down his cheeks, his shoulders heaving, as the whole world closes down to tunnel vision, and he cries like a child, because shizun let binghe hurt him, and then looked at him like he'd done nothing wrong. his other arm is still around shen qingqiu, and his fingers curl so tight in the fabric of his robe that his knuckles go white.
monster. you're a monster. you're a monster, luo binghe. everyone was right. he is a monster. ]
[ Oh Binghe. His poor precious white bun who never deserved any of this.
Shen Qingqiu sighs fondly, uninjured hand coming to stroke his hair soothingly, tiredly laughing that even now here he is, bleeding, and yet he’s still the one offering comfort. ]
There, there don’t cry. How could this teacher be worthy of a title if I don’t protect my precious apprentice from even himself?
[ he keeps his voice light, despite the fact that it does in fact hurt like balls, and he’s honestly ready to sit down and yell in pain for a minute. but that can wait as binghe will forever come in first, second, and third and his wellbeing will always take priority. ]
Come now, this old man isn’t so fragile that you can take me down so easy.
[ say what you will but he's still got fight left in him...! just catch him never using it against Binghe ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ there's blood. it's on binghe's hands, its on shizun's arm, and when he looks up at him like that, binghe's entire world shatters. he's no idiot, and can easily put two and two together; he did the most unforgivable thing he ever could have done. tears rush to binghe's eyes, so quickly that he can barely see straight, and all of the color drains from his face almost immediately. he cries out-- ] Shizun! [ as the panic starts to rise up hot and fresh in his chest. he has to do something, has to stop the bleeding has to help and his hand snaps out to try and grab for the wound, but binghe stops himself mid air. his mind reels with the horrifying thought of what if I do it again?
(you will do it again, something answers in the back of his mind. you knew you would hurt him eventually.
binghe stumbles, freezing, hand hovering, not sure what to do. there's blood, there's too much blood and he caused it, he did it, he finally hurt shizun, shizun, shizun, and overwhelmed, he finally starts to sob. - ] I'm sorry, I didn't--what did I -- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, why didn't you let me hurt me instead, why did you -- shizun-- [ fat tears fall down his cheeks, his shoulders heaving, as the whole world closes down to tunnel vision, and he cries like a child, because shizun let binghe hurt him, and then looked at him like he'd done nothing wrong. his other arm is still around shen qingqiu, and his fingers curl so tight in the fabric of his robe that his knuckles go white.
monster. you're a monster. you're a monster, luo binghe. everyone was right. he is a monster. ]
no subject
Shen Qingqiu sighs fondly, uninjured hand coming to stroke his hair soothingly, tiredly laughing that even now here he is, bleeding, and yet he’s still the one offering comfort. ]
There, there don’t cry. How could this teacher be worthy of a title if I don’t protect my precious apprentice from even himself?
[ he keeps his voice light, despite the fact that it does in fact hurt like balls, and he’s honestly ready to sit down and yell in pain for a minute. but that can wait as binghe will forever come in first, second, and third and his wellbeing will always take priority. ]
Come now, this old man isn’t so fragile that you can take me down so easy.
[ say what you will but he's still got fight left in him...! just catch him never using it against Binghe ]